If I Could Be Where You Are

The words are from Roma Ryan, lyricist for Enya, from Enya's CD Amarantine. I dedicate this to my daughter Diane and my son Charlie:

Where are you this moment?
Only in my dreams.
You're missing, but you're always
A heartbeat from me.

I'm lost now without you,
I don't know where you are.
I keep watching, I keep hoping,
But time keeps us apart

Is there a way I can find you,
Is there a sign I should know,
Is there a road I could follow
To bring you back home?

Winter lies before me
Now you're so far away.
In the darkness of my dreaming
The light of you will stay

If I could be close beside you
If I could be where you are
If I could reach out and touch you
And bring you back home

Is there a way I can find you
Is there a sign I should know
Is there a road I can follow
To bring you back home to me

Charlie's Senior Year Begins

I know I have put Charlie's picture up in other entires before, but this is special because it is his final year at Christian Fellowship High School in Benton, Kentucky. Now I have to wait 245 days, 1 hour, and 51 minutes before he graduates on May 17, 2008. Then I will have to wait another 99 days, 9 hours, and 15 minutes until he turns 18 on July 26, 2008.

In an earlier post I wrote on his birthday, I mentioned to him that he would become what the Kentucky Revised Statues call the Age of Majority (18) and that he would be able to make decisions for himself without interference from the Richs. The Richs are intent on keeping my children from me. The Illinois DCFS never alleged that I did anything wrong to my son, only to my daughter. To this day, no hard physical corroborating evidence backs that up; and as a result, my DCFS records were expunged in May 1999.

I believe that Charlie will be the one to understand that I never did anything wrong to Diane. It is he who will be instrumental in bringing Diane to me. Once the truth is known, they may hate their mother, but I will have nothing to do with bringing that about. They will do that on their own. I will - on the other hand - encourage them to love their mother, but hate the sin. If we must be Christ-like and to be as perfect (complete) as God is perfect, we must learn how to love the sinner and hate the sin.

Charlie, good luck in your last year. If your grades have been great, and your SAT and ACT test scores are good, you will get scholarships into whatever field you want to go into. You don't have to go into music - as I did - but you can be whatever you want to be - even if you do decide to major in music - if you just work hard in college. Keep your eye on Western Kentucky University, for that is where I went. If you do decide to go into music, drop my name to Leslie Lloyd, David Gibson, and Joe Stites, for they were in college when I was there. Also, drop my name to Dr. Mitzi Groom, the department head, for she has one of my email addresses.

Good luck, and work hard!

Dad

Diane's High School Graduation

Today is May 19, 2007, and at 4:00 PM Diane Carol Littlejohn (no, I still will not call her by her adoptive last name) will graduate from Marshall County High School. Since her mother and the adoptive parents have done the damage in keeping me away from me and not her mother or her maternal grandfather, I will not be getting an invitation or an announcement of the graduation. Since Illinois and Kentucky in their wisdom judged me unworthy of being Diane and Charlie's father, they have in effect severed the ties between my children and me.

If Diane has any love left for me, she will remember the promise I had her make before God that she would find me when she aged out of foster care. She needs to remember that promise, for payment upon that promise will commence after the Graduation Exercises end.
Lord God of Heaven and Earth, please put it into Diane's heart to come search for me as soon as she is able to do so, and please put it into the heart of Charlie when he turns 18 on his birthday next year. They will never know just how much I have missed them and wept over their absence until they meet me and come to a knowledge of the real truth.

For Diane, On Her 19th Birthday

Today at 12:48 PM Diane Carol Littlejohn turns 19 years old. The last birthday card I gave to her was on her 13th birthday. I wrote to her that although she wasn't a little girl anymore, she was not a young woman as yet, and that people would try to get her to do things that were not right and proper for a teenager to do. I encouraged her to remember the things that her foster parents, mother, and I had taught her and to keep to those teachings. I also said to remember God during these times and to lean upon her foster parents for moral support.

Most of all, I encouraged her to remember who she was (and IS) - DIANE CAROL LITTLEJOHN! I told her to remember who she was and where she came from. I then concluded by telling her that even though she wasn't my little girl anymore, that she was (and always is) still my Honey Bear!

Back in 1988, I was working for Pinkerton Security at what was then AT&T Bell Laboratories in Naperville, IL. One of my co-workers named Mary St. Jules started calling me Daddy Bear shortly after Diane was born. Shortly after that, I started calling Diane my Honey Bear because she was sweet as Honey, and cuddly as a Bear - and that why she's my Honey Bear! Diane, may you have a wonderful 19th Birthday, and I pray that that soon you will be able to keep your promise to return safely home to me.

Dad

For Charlie, On His 16th Birthday

Charlie is now 16 years old as of this past Wednesday! Hope he and his sister Diane still remember me. I hope to post pictures of them soon.

Still hoping for a job. It appears that I'm on the computer more than I need to be! Maybe I need to run a home-based business through the computer, as I am on it a lot. I do have friends I have met through the Internet, and I hope to meet many more.

Dear Diane and Charlie

I have decided to go ahead and transfer certain of my blog entries from Yahoo to this account, as it could be easier for you to locate it and read it.

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you both. I remember how you both wanted me to stay with you when I left visiting with you. You are all I ever think about. I want you to know just how much I love you and want you to return to me.

Some of the events of the posts you will read will have already taken place. Just know that I have never forgotten you, and will love you to the end.

This blog is dedicated to you, my grown children.