Not long after I graduated from Western Kentucky University with my Bachelor of Music degree, I started wanting to get a piano, as I wanted to be better at playing certain pieces of music I learned during my tenure down there. After that, when my family asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I told them "what I want, you can't afford!" They knew what I meant, so it was more of a joke than anything.
However, after March 31, 1994, that piano was not all that important anymore! I had lost my good name and my hopes for being a proper father to Diane and Charlie. From March 31, 1994 to December 12, 2001 all I wanted for Christmas was to have Diane and Charlie return home to me. It was what Diane wanted in November 1995 and what both Diane and Charlie wanted on December 14, 2000.
However, it was not to be, as the Kentucky DCBS convinced Charlie to change his mind on April 2001. I could see that it wasn't what Charlie really wanted, as he cried during the whole time he was saying that. I wanted to say to him "I know you really don't believe that," but when your visits are supervised by the KY DCBS, you don't say that. In fact, you don't say anything to them because it will be held against you in the Termination Bench Trial.
Such was the case when after the visit I went to Diane and told her "Promise me before God that you will come look for me when you age out of foster care;" and at that time, Diane said that she would. They tried to hold that against me, but I don't think they really succeeded.
However, they did succeed in getting the foster parents to change their minds and adopt Diane and Charlie. To this day, I maintain that if they did not adopt my children, the DCBS would have had to explain to the McCracken County Family Court that they were unsuccessful in placing Diane and Charlie up for adoption. By convincing the foster parents to adopt, they would save face with the McCracken County Family Court Judge.
Diane is now 19 and is finishing up her first semester at Carl D. Perkins Voc Rehab Center at Thelma, KY. I am hoping that Diane will get around to answering Karissa's letter she sent to her on my behalf. We are still waiting for that answer. I may have to be the one to encourage her to call me. However, I am going to have to go at it in a round about way.
So what do I want for Christmas? It may not be until this time next year, but I want my children to come home for Christmas - as the song goes,
Come home for Christmas,
Please come home for Christmas,
If not for Christmas,
Then, maybe next year!
